Office Pool
by Bob Rhynoplasty
Summary: Now a series of One shots. NCIS has an office pool going on. What's it about, and why are newbies generally scared? Warning for SLASHY thoughts
1. Special Agent Tim McGee

**Office Pool**

**Summary:** McGee's finally a field agent at NCIS. But a conversation with Kate may have him regretting his decision.

**Disclaimer:** I have decided to start a petition to get NCIS signed over to my name. However, I can't seem to find anyone willing to sign it, so I still own nothing.

**Pairing:** Implied/future Gibbs/DiNozzo

**Author's Note:** A part of me wants to do a few of these, like with agents coming into NCIS and how they would respond. So if you like it let me know and I will create more. Otherwise, this will be a stand alone. Well, I hope you enjoy me torturing Tim McGee yet again. I have noticed that I do that a lot. I don't know why, but I love it when he gets so flustered.

* * *

Tim McGee was one of the happiest people in the world. He finally got his promotion. He was a full time field agent. Sure, Agent Gibbs was terrifying as hell, and Agent DiNozzo was just a pain in the ass at his finer moments, Agent Todd—Kate—wasn't bad. Although, she too could be pretty scary. But in a completely different way than Agent Gibbs.

But it didn't matter, they were his team now. He was a part of their team.

He smiled. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't wipe that stupid grin off his face. It was like he lost his virginity all over again.

He stood in the break room getting a cup of coffee when he heard the door open. His head swiveled around. Kate stood there, smiling widely at him. Her hair was pulled back and the sweat was finally drying up. The air conditioning came on only seconds after he got the great news. And that was only two hours ago. He had been a field agent for two whole hours.

"How you doing, McGee?"

"I'm great. Really, just great." He smiled brightly at his new teammate. He loved that he was finally able to call her a teammate. She was no longer a coworker that he was forced to work with on occasion, she was a teammate.

He was so happy he hadn't even noticed that she moved to stand next to him. As he saw her standing there less than a foot away from him, he jumped about three feet in the air. Her smile lost a bit of its warmth, now it seemed, almost creepy.

"What are you doing?" He asked, still terrified.

"I wanted to know if you wanted a stake in the office pool."

"Wha?"

Kate stood up straighter as she started to explain. "Ducky came to me right after I became an agent here. It's a pool that started a little under three years ago, and now just about every person at the yard has a stake in it." She stopped. "Well, actually, even a few agents not assigned to the yard have a stake in it. Fornell does. So does Agent Burley, you never met him, but he used to work with Gibbs, B.D."

"B.D.?"

"Before DiNozzo." At McGee's look of confusion, she rolled her eyes. "No, I did not come up with that, actually Chris Pacci did. Actually I think he was the one who started the pool in the first place." She stopped, a hint of grief washed over her face. McGee understood. Nobody was really exempt from the grief at Pacci's brutal murder.

After a while, Kate managed to shake it off and get back to the point. "So, are you in?"

McGee started stuttering. "Well, uh, th-that depends. What's the pool?"

Kate's smile widened. "When are Tony and Gibbs gonna have sex?"

McGee dropped his coffee cup.

The hot liquid hit his leg while the cup smashed his toe. He yelped and jumped again. Kate stood watching idly as he hopped around on his uninjured foot while the coffee burned his skin and his toe throbbed.

"What?" He was still hopping.

Kate grabbed his shoulders to stop him. "Come on, McGee, can you honestly tell me you don't see it?" McGee was silent. Kate rolled her eyes again. "McGee, you're an investigator now, even complete strangers see it!"

"Strangers see Tony and Gibbs having sex?"

"Strangers see the attraction between them." She rolled her head around. "Ok, I'll admit, when I first met them on Air Force One, I didn't really see it. Actually I thought Gibbs was flirting with me." She chuckled. Apparently she thought that idea was funny.

"Maybe he was," McGee suggested.

Kate gave him a look. It wasn't really pitying, it was more an 'I thought you were smarter than that' kind of look. "Last year I may have agreed with you, but now I know better. One of these days, Tony and Gibbs are just gonna let loose and tear each other's clothes off." McGee closed his eyes as a mental image came to the forefront of his mind. It was actually slightly creepy. "There's no way around it. The only changeable factor… is when." Her grin widened again.

McGee couldn't understand this. He had been a full time field agent for—he checked his watch—two hours and fifteen minutes. And his teammate was telling him about the most bizarre office pool he had ever heard of. It didn't make any sense. "I thought Tony was straight."

Kate nodded. "He is."

"And Gibbs is straight."

"Right."

Silence.

"Then how… why… what?"

Kate rolled her eyes again. "Tony and Gibbs think they're straight, but that's because they're too stubborn and pig headed to see what's in front of their faces. Once they figure that out, there's no going back." She sounded very sure of herself.

"Aren't there policies against that sort of thing? What does the director feel about this office pool?"

"He has New Years' weekend for next year."

McGee blinked. "Director Morrow is in on the pool?"

"Of course he is. See, he was smart, he decided that it would take a few years for them to actually act. Stan Burley said that it would happen two days after we met him. He even tried to give Tony a little extra push by telling him how Gibbs must like him and the reasons why."

"What's your date?"

Kate huffed. "My date already passed. When Tony's boiler went out, I knew that Gibbs would eventually cave and let Tony stay with him. So I made my bet for the month they spent together."

"And nothing?"

She huffed. "Gibbs found the camera!"

More silence.

"You bugged Gibbs' house?!"

"I didn't! Director Morrow did! He figured that if they ever did have sex, Gibbs would want to have sex in his own bed, so he had one of the computer…" she trailed off. McGee glared. He knew she was going to say 'geeks.' "Techs down stairs hide a small camera in Gibbs' bedroom. And basement."

"Why his basement?"

"Gibbs spends a lot of time down there. Abby actually thinks their first time will be under the boat."

"Wait, Abby's in on this?"

"Her bet is for the week before Thanksgiving of this year."

"Oddly specific."

"Well they have to be. But you are allowed a week for better chances, instead of just the one day. So, are you in?"

"How are we even going to get confirmation, if by some miracle they do wind up together?" He could not believe he was actually going along with this. Is this what it meant to be a full time field agent? If so, he was half tempted to scram back to Norfolk.

"We put in smaller cameras, plus every time Tony walks in smiling that 'I just had sex' smile, Abby goes back to his apartment to try and find the condom he used."

"Does she check Gibbs' place?"

"Of course she does. That one's easy to break into, he never locks his door. He really should, the amount of times we've gone through it looking for evidence for the pool."

"What if they never have sex?"

Kate smacked him lightly in the back of the head. It still kind of hurt. "They will McGee! They have to."

"Have to?"

"Yes! Seriously McGee, watch the two of them interact. If they don't get together at least once, then," she paused. If McGee was correct, there was a tear in her eye. "It's a wasted life."

McGee continued to stare at her. She sounded so serious, like she actually believed what she was telling him. He thought back at his time with the team before. Every time he saw Tony and Gibbs together, it looked like Gibbs was barely holding back the urge to kill him, or at the very least fire him.

Then came the thought, was it really any of their business if they were sleeping together? Sure it was the director's, he would need to know if his agents were sleeping together. But did they have any right to bet on it? Then again, he did want to fit in.

"Put me down for fourth of July weekend."

Kate grinned. "Good call, McGee!" She patted his chest.

McGee just nodded and left the room, completely ignoring his coffee cup still on the floor.

As soon as he was out the door, he slammed into somebody heading in. Of course, knowing his luck, it had to be Tony. "Hey! Where are you going in such a hurry."

McGee froze. He knew that Tony was standing in front of him, and he knew he was fully clothed. But in his eyes, he saw Tony and Gibbs, both buck naked, lying on a bed, touching and kissing and…

"I gotta go." He fled as quickly as he could without resorting to a full run. When he passed by Gibbs, he kept his head down and made a dash to his desk.

Maybe being a field agent wasn't such a good idea.

* * *

**So, I know it's short, but I hope you liked it all the same. And again, I might want to make more of other people finding out about the pool, let me know!**

**Bob**


	2. Special Agent Richard Owens

**Well, I got so many great reviews, I decided to keep going. I know it took me a while to get this up, but I was trying to finish Guy Weekend, and then school ended, so things are a little crazy. To make a comment, yes I'm going to try and have them at least associated with the actual plot of the show, the unshown scene when they meet new people and whatnot. But I'm not going to tell you who wins the pool just yet. **

**This chapter happens in the episode "The Curse" featuring Special Agent Richard Owens from Hawaii. It helps if your familiar with that episode to really understand this chapter, but basically, Owens was an Agent Afloat back in 1994, when a man (Can't remember his name) went missing and everyone assumed that he was a thief. Gibbs and team reopen the case when they find the missing guy's dead body. Gibbs doesn't like Owens, calls him a shmuck. Apparently Owens didn't do a good enough search of the ship back in 94, he just wanted to get off and go home, so the two had issues. Turned out the guy was the fall guy between two other sailors. Near the end of the episode they catch one of them (the other's already dead), named Erin Toner. This chapter takes place directly after they catch her, but before the very end. I hope my synopsis was at least a little helpful.**

Special Agent Richard Owens was surprised. Gibbs gave him the collar. Erin Toner was currently sitting in lock up, and he was the one who put her there. He knew that he screwed up back in '94, and he never expected Gibbs to forgive him. Maybe he didn't , but he wasn't treating him like dirt on the bottom of his shoe anymore.

He was heading upstairs to grab his things so he could head back to Hawaii when he felt something wrap around his arm. Suddenly he was pulled off his feet and thrown into a broom closet. The door shut and he was caked in darkness.

His hand went to his gun, but found that his holster was empty. Damn it, he left his sidearm upstairs. Rookie mistake. He should have known better.

The light was flicked on. Standing before him was the creepy—slightly sexy—forensic scientist who worked with Agent Gibbs, Abby Scuito. She was smiling maliciously at him.

"How are you liking Washington D.C. Special Agent Owens?" Even though she had just kidnapped him and was holding him against his will, she sounded incredibly chipper. Richard really wished he had his gun.

"It's nice. I like Hawaii better, though." And he would really like to go back there, but he refrained from saying that.

"How did you like Agent Gibbs?"

Uh oh. That wasn't what this was about, was it? He knew that he didn't like the older agent, and when he first met him he wasn't quiet about it either. But Abby wouldn't kill him for that, would she?

"He's not bad. A bit of a hard ass, but I respect him."

"What about Agent DiNozzo?"

Now he was confused. What was this about? "He's a decent guy. Kind of a show off, though." He saw Abby's smile fade a little around the edges, to be replaced with a glare. Crap. "But I like him. I mean, who doesn't like to show off when their good, right?" That seemed to make her a little happier. He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Abby, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course you can!" She sounded happy again.

Richard had a hard time actually speaking. He didn't really know how to phrase this, it was a bit of a difficult subject to broach. "I, uh, was just wondering, if, you know, if you knew," He was sounding like an idiot, "I got the impression that Agent Gibbs and Agent DiNozzo are sleeping together." He had no idea why he wanted to know. His curiosity was getting the better of him. He just couldn't understand it, Gibbs worked with two beautiful women on a daily basis, but he seemed fonder of the guy. Richard would kill for a chance with women like Abby and Kate Todd.

Abby's smile turned creepy again. "Not yet."

He was about to ask when she started rambling. "There's an office pool going on around here, every time we get a new agent, he or she gets a chance to take part. And I would like to know if you wanted a stake in it."

He was confused again. "What's the pool?"

"When are Tony and Gibbs gonna get down and dirty."

He supposed he should have been shocked. That was a pretty out there office pool, but it actually made sense. He worked with them for only a couple of days and he saw the sexual chemistry between them. He couldn't imagine what everyone else saw working with them every single day.

"How much to go in?"

"Twenty bucks."

"That's it?"

Abby shrugged. "There's a lot of people involved in the pool. Right now, it's like a couple thousand dollars." She held up her finger. "There are a few rules."

"Of course there are."

"You can't choose a date that's already been taken."

"Well how do you know if the date's already been taken?"

"Director Morrow has a book with everyone's bets."

That stunned the hell out of him. "Director Morrow is in on this?" He shook his head. "Director Morrow's the _bookie_ in this?"

"Cool, huh?"

"Not the word I was thinking of," he said under his breath. He kind of hoped that Abby didn't hear him. "What are the other rules?"

"You can't tell Tony and Gibbs about the pool."

"Well that's not going to be a problem, I'm heading back to Hawaii tonight. Any others?"

"Those are it. Are you in?" She started bouncing again.

He started pulling out his wallet when a thought came to mind. "We're not allowed to outright tell them about the pool, but are we allowed to maybe hint at it, add fuel to the fire?"

Her grin was evil again. "Of course we are, how else are they gonna learn?" Richard got the impression that she added fuel to the fire frequently.

With a smile, he pulled out the cash and handed it over. "What's the time limit for the pool?"

Abby shrugged. "Seeing as Tony's been working for Gibbs for the last two years and they still haven't bumped uglies, there really isn't one."

"Hmm," he thought long and hard for a good date. He did the math in his head. They were still in pretty good denial about their mutual attraction. He estimated at least one more year before they finally accepted that they weren't as straight as they let themselves believe. Probably another year before they finally acted on it. Barring serious consequences, they should sleep together around… "Put me down for the week of November the twenty-second."

Abby's smile widened. "Good choice."

"Two thousand and five."

She arched her eyebrow. "Very specific, Agent Owens." She took his money and pocketed it. "I like it."

She stepped back and turned off the light again. Seconds later, more light flooded into the room as she opened the door. Richard stepped closer with a smile on his face. "Do you like it enough to have dinner with me, tonight?"

Abby gave him a look of mock shock as they started walking down the hall. "Agent Owens, I thought you had to be on a plane back to Hawaii tonight!"

He shrugged. "There'll be other flights. So what do you say?"

They stepped up to the elevators. Abby pushed the button. "Well I would, but I promised Kate we could have a sleep over tonight."

An image of the two woman having a pillow fight in their undies came to his mind. It was a beautiful thing. "And Gibbs wants to shack up with a guy?"

The elevator opened just as he finished that sentence. Standing there was none other than Gibbs and DiNozzo. The younger of the two got a big cocky grin on his face. "Who's shacking up with a guy?"

Abby glared daggers out of the corner of her eye. Richard kept his mouth shut. Gibbs glared. "What are you still doin' down here? Did you get Toner in lock up?"

Richard nodded. "All set, Agent Gibbs."

He stepped onto the elevator. When he turned back to Abby, she was smiling wickedly at the other two men. Both of them were too busy staring at him to notice. Considering the conversation he just had, that made him very nervous. DiNozzo was giving him a kind of pervert look. The doors slid close, trapping Richard with them. Alone.

"Seriously, who's shacking up?"

Richard just grinned. "Kate and Abby. They're having a sleepover tonight."

DiNozzo threw his head back and moaned. No doubt he had the same image that Richard did only a few seconds ago.

With a roll of his head, Gibbs drew back and smacked them both in the back of the head. But based on the sound, Richard suspected that Tony's smack was a little harder than his own.

He smiled. How cute, Gibbs was jealous.

* * *

**According to IMDB, the episode Frame Up originally aired on November 22, 2005. I'd say he picked a good week, wouldn't you? Well, let me know what you think and if I should continue or not. **

**Bob**


	3. Dr Donald Mallard

**Here it is folks! How the pool was started.**

**Who's bet: **Ducky

**Spoilers: **None, pre-season 1.

**Who's idea was the pool in the first place?**

* * *

Jethro was leaning over Anthony to stare at his computer. Even though the older agent probably only had his face mere inches from Anthony's, the probationary agent didn't seem at all perturbed or uncomfortable.

Ducky watched from the next level as the two man team worked their latest case. He had to admit he was impressed. Jethro never took to new agents as quickly as he took to Anthony DiNozzo. And he never worked so efficiently on a two man team as well as he did with the young man either.

Somebody saddled up next to him. Out of his peripherals, it looked like Special Agent Chris Pacci. He was a good agent, he wasn't necessarily a team leader like Jethro was, but he didn't work for another agent either. Before Anthony, Chris was given the chance to work with Jethro, to be trained by one of the best agents in the entire agency. It was an honor, really. But he practically begged Director Morrow not to put him with the older man. Ducky believed that the words "would rather eat a live tarantula with an anaconda around my neck" were used.

"Sight to see, huh?"

Ducky didn't have to ask. He already knew. He knew from the start that Jethro took more than a professional liking to the young man, whether he was willing to admit it or not.

"I mean, I've never seen Gibbs take to an agent like that. Especially not a guy like Tony DiNozzo."

The medical examiner chuckled. Chris definitely had a point. He never would have thought that someone like Jethro Gibbs—stoic, rough, self proclaimed bastard—could fit so well with someone like Anthony DiNozzo—loud, sex-crazed, womanizer. But he did.

Chris gave him a perverted smile. It was the only way to describe that look, perverted. "You think they're doing it?"

The older man rolled his eyes. "Oh, for Heaven's sake, Christopher." He tried to hide the chuckle.

"Are you saying you don't see it?"

"Well of course I see it, I may have poor eyesight but I'm not completely blind. But Jethro is not going to sleep with a subordinate after only a month of working with him."

Chris 'hmmfed.' "So how long do you think it will take?"

"How long with what take?"

Ducky whirled around to see Director Morrow stride up to him. It was certainly a shock. Most of the time, Morrow was in Multiple Threat Assesment Center.

Come to think of it, did he _ever_ leave MTAC?

"For Gibbs to have sex with Agent DiNozzo," the way Chris said that was too free for Ducky's liking.

The older man closed his eyes and took a deep breath. If Morrow thought that something sexual was happening between Jethro and his latest agent, the young boy would certainly be transferred. The medical examiner feared for his friend if that happened. Anthony seemed to be able to get under his skin better than anyone ever had before. Jethro was always a very closed off person, but he was getting better in the past month that the young lad was on his team.

And Chris was going to ruin it with his big mouth.

Morrow chuckled and stepped up to the guard rail to look out into the bull pen. "I'd say it's gonna take a few years, boys."

Ducky stared at the Director in shock. He never expected him to agree.

Chris studied the display closer. "You think?"

"Oh definitely," Morrow continued. "Jethro has three ex wives behind him, and DiNozzo will chase anything in a skirt. I bet they won't admit it to themselves yet."

The three men were silent again. They continued to watch Jethro and Anthony figure out their case. They were standing now, Jethro stood behind his only agent. Too close for polite society. Anthony was talking up a storm in a very animated way. He did that quite often. Whatever he said obviously upset the older man, he reached up and whacked Tony in the back of the head.

"I give it a year," Chris finally said.

"Not a chance," Morrow continued. "I'd say at least three years."

"You care to wager on that?"

"How much?"

Chris shrugged. "Twenty bucks?"

Morrow considered that for a while. "You have a specific date, or should I just let yo have an entire year?"

Chris chuckled. "I'm gonna say, by Halloween, those two are gonna be in each other's bed."

"I'll take New Years', 2004." The two shook hands.

Then they turned to Ducky.

The medical examiner looked at them each in turn. "You want me to bet?"

Morrow shrugged. "You know Jethro better than any of us."

"Yes, and I know that he would never sleep with a subordinate. Least of all a male subordinate. He has been married multiple times."

Chris shrugged again. "So was Rock Hudson."

"Are you telling me you don't see something, Dr. Mallard?" Morrow sounded very amused by that.

"Somebody'd have to be brain dead to not see something," Chris laughed.

Ducky huffed. "I see it as well as either of you, I just don't think its right to place a bet on when two coworkers are going to sleep together." He leaned heavier against the rail, his anger churning. "These are two grown men, and quite frankly it isn't any of our business what they do when they are out of the office. Not to mention, making a pool on this is completely juvenile."

The other two men were silent. They just went back to watching Jethro and Anthony down in the bull pen. Anthony said something that Jethro apparently agreed with. He started walking briskly out of the room.

"On your six, boss!" The young man shouted after him as he grabbed his things and humorously ran to catch up. Ducky knew his friend well enough to know that he was smiling at Anthony's latest antic, even if he couldn't actually see it.

"I'd put my money on the week of May 4, 2004."

Morrow snorted in laughter.

* * *

**Another note, According to IMDB again, May 4, 2004 was the original air date for the episode Missing. **

**So who do you want to see get sucked into the pool next? Appreciate your thoughts!**

**Bob**


	4. Abigail Scuito

**I have too many cousins. It sucks, but I do. I'm sorry, I just got back from visiting my family. All I ate that entire trip was Subway and Italian food. I left my Italian family to be fed nothing but Italian. Ironic huh? Well, my 16 year old cousin just had her baby boy, by 23 year old cousin has a little two month old (on top of his 5 year old and his 3 year old), my 20 year old cousin is gonna pop any day now, I believe my 24 year old cousin is pregnant, I just found out my uncle has a daughter in Sarycuse. And of course, half of them all celebrate their birthday this week. I went to three birthday celebrations in one day. Of course, I couldn't complain about the one, it was a church celebration. My cousin would have been 46 this week, he died 23 years ago when he was only 23, and I just learned how old he was this week. It was very heartbreaking.**

**Who's Bet: **Abby

**Spoilers: **None, pre-season 1

**Who doesn't see the love?**

* * *

Something wasn't right. Every time Abby walked into a room these days, conversations completely stopped. When somebody came into her lab needing something, they refused to look at her. The only people who weren't acting weird was Gibbs and his new lapdog, Agent DiNozzo, formerly known as Detective DiNozzo, also known as a royal pain in Abby's ass. It was bad enough that she had to share the bossman with somebody else, but that the somebody else was an annoying jerkhead who kept trying to look up her skirt and undressing her with his eyes while making lewd comments just made it unbearable.

Needless to say she was in a bad mood. She had been in a perpetual bad mood for three months now. That was how long DiNozzo had been working for Gibbs. She was waiting for the day that the stupid gigolo wannabe cried like a baby and ran out of the Naval Yard with his tail between his legs. But everyday he came in cockier and happier than ever. It was annoying, but it was like he _enjoyed _working with Gibbs. Nobody liked working with Gibbs. Well, Abby did, and Ducky, but they were the only ones! Even Burley didn't really like working with Gibbs. Well, he did, but he didn't always. It took him three years, and that's because that's how long it took for Gibbs to start referring to him by name instead of random grunts and "hey you!" Gibbs didn't even get it right for another year—he kept calling him 'Steve.' But Gibbs always called the new guy by his right name. Most of the time, it was DiNozzo, but every once in a while, he'd call him Tony. What made him so much more special that Stan Burley? Burley was the man!

Her mood was worse now, because of how everyone kept acting around her. And damn it, she wanted it to stop!

There was one person who she knew would be willing to talk to her. Well, he wouldn't be willing, but he would eventually cave if she pushed enough. So that was how Abby found her way heading down to Autopsy. She needed to see Ducky. Maybe he could make sense of everything. If anyone could, it'd be Ducky.

Well, normally, Gibbs makes sense of everything, but he was the reason she was in a bad mood. Besides, if she went to Gibbs, his lapdog would most likely be right there, and he was the last person she wanted to see. Ever.

When she walked into Autopsy, it was Gerald and another agent, Special Agent Cassie Yates. Right away, Abby knew something was wrong. Never mind she hadn't seen Cassie in months, but to make it worse, they did it again. As soon as Abby walked into the room, the two, who had been having a pretty great conversation as far as Abby could tell, stopped and stared at her like a deer caught in the freaking headlights.

"No, no, no, no, definitely not!" She strode into the lab, her finger pointed at both of them.

"Abby—" Cassie started before Abby cut her off.

"You are not doing this to me too! Absolutely not. There is something hinky going on around here, and you two know what it is! I am not leaving this lab until you tell me!" She crossed her arms over her chest and glared. It was her imitation of Gibbs' glare. It was generally effective. Except towards Gibbs, of course.

"Abby, we don't know anything. Really." She glared harder at Gerald's words. "Cassie and I were just talking about a recent case."

"You're lying! There's no new case, otherwise I'd be getting new forensics. I haven't gotten new forensics, so therefore, there's no new case!" She shouted the last part of the sentence.

"Well how do you know, Abby?" Cassie asked, trying to be logical. It made Abby even angrier. "You're down here talking to us, somebody might be on their way to your lab to give you new forensics."

Abby paused. Damn it, that made sense. That actually made a lot of sense.

No! Absolutely not, she was not falling for that. "If that were the case, then why did you two just stop when I came in here? Why is everyone treating me like a leper! Do I smell? Are my pigtails crooked?" She uncrossed her arms and put on her best pout. "Now tell me the truth! What's been going on? Everything's been all wrong ever since Gibbs hired that stupid newbie—" She stopped. Gerald and Cassie gave each other a look.

Abby stepped closer. "Does it have to do with Gibbs and his newbie?" Her answer was silence. "Hey! Guys!" She started pouting again. "Talk to me."

She had to wait another few minutes before she could finally get a damn answer out of them. They kept exchanging glances between the two of them. Abby bounced back and forth. She generally wasn't a very patient person, but considering what she did for a living, she had to learn to be patient. It didn't mean she had to like it.

Cassie was the one who broke the silence. "Gerald was asking me if I wanted in on the office pool."

What?

"What office pool?" Abby wasn't informed of a pool. "And what does that have to do with Gibbs and the poodle?" A poodle was a good dog to describe Anthony DiNozzo. They yapped, had annoying hair that they thought was the greatest thing on earth, and they never stopped annoying you. Oh yeah, that was definitely Agent DiNozzo.

"That is the office pool," Cassie continued.

Abby waited for her to elaborate. But she didn't. Gerald did though, so, Abby's patience wasn't wasted. "A couple of the agents think that Gibbs and DiNozzo are gonna," he paused, suddenly uncomfortable, "sleep together."

There weren't a lot of things that could stun Abby Scuito silent. She was a talker by nature. Generally, even her thoughts were a random jumble of words. But hearing those words, and she couldn't even think in long sentences. Actually, she couldn't think in short sentences.

Her anger decided to show its ugly head. "Are you insane? Even on the off chance that Gibbs is gay—which by the way, he totally is _not_—he would not, ever ever ever ever! Sleep with someone like Agent DiNozzo!"

"I have to disagree," Cassie butted in. Abby was about to start yelling again when Cassie cut her off. "I know Gibbs, Abby. He never takes to new agents well. He doesn't like change, and there should be no reason for Gibbs to get along with Tony. But he does. And when he looks at the man," she paused, a strange look coming over her face. "Those two take eye porn to a whole new level!"

Abby shook her head. Again, she was stunned speechless. No, scratch that, she was bitch slapped speechless. Gibbs and DiNozzo? _Eye porn_? She was in an alternate universe. That was the only possible logical reason for this. She was sucked into one of the multiverses where everyone is insane and DiNozzo was some flaming homosexual who talked with a lisp and said "oh my god" a lot and Gibbs was a soldier and not a Marine. Yeah, that made sense.

"I'm walking away now." She pointed over her shoulder. "Back to reality." She slowly stepped away from the crazy people. Maybe if she went slowly, and kept an eye on them, they wouldn't turn rabid on her and bite her in the ass.

"Wait, Abby," Cassie came forward, arms outstretched. Abby squealed, covering her face with her arms and preparing for the attack. "Abby, I'm not going to hurt you!"

"Sure, you want me to believe that so I let my guard down and you can attack me!" She wasn't going to fall for that, she was far too smart!

"Abby, just," Cassie took a deep breath. "Just look into it. Watch them for a while. If you actually pay attention, you might actually see something."

Abby finally lowered her arms and scoffed. "That's not likely going to happen. Like I said, Gibbs is totally straight. And even if he wasn't, he would never stoop so low to hook up with DiNozzo." She finally made her escape from the lab.

***3 Weeks Later***

Abby walked into Autopsy with her tail between her legs and her shoulders slumped. Ducky and Gerald were standing over their latest dead body. When she walked in, they just stared at her with that stupid look on their faces again. Man, she hated that look.

She sighed heavily. "Put me down for the week before Thanksgiving, 2004." She really hated being wrong.

* * *

**Well, I hope you liked it. I'm thinking of maybe making the next one Paula Cassidy. I want to cover the first two seasons before I hit Ziva and Director Sheppherd and such, but don't worry, they will be covered sometime in the near future!**


	5. Special Agent Paula Cassidy

**Who's Bet:** Special Agent Paula Cassidy

**Summary:** Paula liked Tony, how will she take the pool?

**Spoilers:** Season 1 Episode 8: Minimum Security

* * *

"So," he said with a smile. Paula knew she was mush, even though she would never admit it. She couldn't just give in to Tony DiNozzo's charm. If she did, they would sleep together and he would move on. She knew his type. And she sure as hell wasn't going to become another notch on his bedpost. No, she wanted to be something more to him. "What are you doing after your meeting with the director?"

He was leaning casually against the railing outside Director Morrow's office. And he was smiling. He had a really nice smile, though again she would never say it out loud.

She shrugged. "Not you."

He laughed. It was deep, and gravelly, just like his voice. "Cute. Very, very cute. But," he wriggled his eyebrows. "Are you sure about that?"

Oh she was tempted. Very very tempted. Especially when he smiled like that. It wasn't fair. How could a man possibly be so perfect?

She had to stop thinking like that! Tony DiNozzo wasn't perfect. Sure he was cute, he was a great dancer and a good agent… ok, so he was as perfect as a man could possibly get, at least to Paula Cassidy.

"Agent Cassidy," Director Morrow's secretary called to her, saving her from having to say anything. "You can come on in and wait."

Paula nodded. Without sparing a glance at Tony, she followed the woman into her office. The door to Morrow's office was still closed.

"The Director will be here in just a moment. He's still in MTAC."

Paula nodded. The secretary went to sit back at her desk, completely unaware of the way that Paula was glaring at her. If Morrow wasn't even in his office, why was Paula sitting here when she could have been flirting with Tony?

The bitch's phone rang. Paula rolled her eyes and sat down as she answered. "Director Morrow's office." She paused for a second as the person on the other end spoke. "Hi Kate!" She sounded too bubbly. Like one of those cliché secretaries from the movies. The ones without a brain who did their nails at their desk.

Paula groaned. This wasn't going to be fun.

The bitch gasped, which somehow turned into some weird laugh thing. "No! Seriously?" She paused a second. "Now, when you say that he was naked, how naked? Seriously?" Paula dropped her head on the back of the couch. "Full frontal Tony DiNozzo." That got Paula's attention. She jerked her head up and gaped at the bitch. "Ok, I have to ask, how big?"

Paula slowly leaned forward, hoping to hear the answer. If they were talking about Tony, maybe it was Kate Todd on the line. Paula liked Kate, she seemed to be pushing for a relationship between her and Tony. That qualified her for Sainthood in Paula's book.

The bitch secretary groaned. "Ok, how do you not want to sleep with him?" She waited for Kate's answer again. "Your brothers look nothing like Tony!" She paused again. Then she gasped again. "Gibbs was there? What was his reaction?"

Paula was definitely confused. This woman sounded more excited about Agent Gibbs seeing a naked Tony than she was about the fact that Tony was naked at all. What was wrong with this woman?

"That's it? 'I need coffee,' that's all he had to say?" She leaned back at her desk. "Hey, do you think he spanked it in the shower that morning?"

Paula almost fell out of her seat.

"From seeing Tony standing naked in front of him, sporting a case of very impressive morning wood! Hell I would." The secretary laughed. "These men are never gonna get their heads out of their asses! At least, not without some help." Another pause. "No, Tony stayed with Gibbs before, he pissed the man off like crazy and slept on the couch." This was the most annoying one sided conversation Paula ever heard. "Yeah, it was like six months ago." She rolled her eyes up to the ceiling in thought. "Well, I suppose after Gitmo, they have a better chance. What do you have in mind?"

Paula was reeling. They were seriously talking about Gibbs. Gibbs and _Tony_. Her Tony! And yes, she claimed him. She danced with him, she flirted with him, even though it was against her personal rules—never date another agent. And he was into it! And Kate kept trying to set them up. Why would she do that just to go back and talk about Tony being with _Gibbs_!

"You are evil, Caitlyn Todd. I love it!" The bitch giggled. "Ok, but the question is how do we blow a boiler?" She scoffed. "Somehow I doubt that even Morrow would agree to use C4 to get Tony into Gibbs house and bed."

What?

"Ok, so you get a tech guy to blow the boiler, how do you know that Gibbs will even agree to let Tony stay there? I told you, last time didn't end well. I don't know the details, but they were both admitted to the hospital, Tony had a fractured rib and a broken finger. Gibbs had a sprained ankle and a couple of fractured ribs." She laughed. "Gibbs doesn't really strike me as being interested in rough sex, Kate. No, if anything, Tony tripped down the stairs and took Gibbs with him."

The woman took a moment to think again. Paula could almost see the smoke coming out of her ears. "That could work. Ok, so you covered why Tony would need a place to stay, and why Gibbs would let him. But how do you know they'll even do anything? They've been stuck in that situation a couple times, they never act on it."

Silence.

Her jaw dropped in what was probably the most serious emotion she's shown since Kate called. And it still looked pretty comical. "You want to _date rape_ them?"

That time Paula did fall out of her chair.

"You want to drug them so they have sex with each other, that's date rape!" She fixed her receiver onto her shoulder and started typing at her computer. "I'm Googling the effects of ecstasy right now." Kate must have said something else. "Oh, of course you're gonna say that, this is all your idea! I'm getting a professional opinion."

A professional opinion from Google?

Apparently Kate had the same thought. "Google just gave me a link for the Mayo clinic website. You think they're professional enough?"

After reading for a few minutes, the woman's shoulders slumped. "Ok, it says that people on ecstasy are more likely to commit date rape than be victims of one, but that isn't much better! You're pretty much asking Gibbs and Tony to rape each other!"

"You can't rape the willing," Paula finally said, unable to stay quiet any longer.

The secretary looked up, with a deer caught in the headlights look. Apparently in this riveting conversation, she forgot that Paula was there. "Kate, I'm going to have to call you back." She hung up. Paula could hear Kate try and argue about it for a while.

She looked up and smiled. "Agent Cassidy—" She started before Paula cut her off.

"What the hell was that?"

She shook her head. "Just a friendly conversation."

"About morning wood and date rape?" The woman closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Paula went into full interrogation mode. She leaned over the woman's desk and gave her her most intimidating glare. "Why don't you start from the beginning?"

It only took a second for the woman to gather her bearings and start rambling. Not just talking. Oh no, she rambled. "There's a pool around the office trying to determine when Gibbs and Tony are going to sleep together, Gibbs saw Tony in all his glory when they were in Cuba, so Agent Todd thinks that they'll sleep together very soon, she came up with a plan to blow Tony's boiler out so he'll be forced to stay with somebody else, which will be Gibbs because everyone else that he would ask is in on the pool, then Kate wants to slip them ecstasy so they'd get horny enough to sleep together and then she can win the pool." She finally stopped, breathing heavily.

Paula took a moment to go back and try and decipher everything she just said. Then she took another moment to understand it. She understood the last part, she heard it all. But the fact that NCIS would have an pool about when two male heterosexual agents would have sex was just… she couldn't even think of an adequate word.

"You really think—"

This time, the secretary cut her off. "We don't think. We know."

"Who's all in on this?"

"Everybody."

"Of course they are. And they all think that Gibbs and Tony…" She trailed off.

"Obviously, or they wouldn't be in on the pool." She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. If Paula still had her gun, she'd shoot the woman.

Paula shook her head. "I don't believe it." Not that she really wanted to. Tony DiNozzo was the closest thing to perfect she'd ever seen. It wasn't fair that he would be gay. She was very aware of the saying that all the good men are either gay or taken. But damn it, there had to be one that wasn't! And that was DiNozzo!

Before they could argue any longer, Morrow strode in. He was smiling. "Sorry to have kept you waiting."

Paula straightened up. "Don't be. Your secretary kept me entertained."

He chuckled. "Well, if you would just follow me please." He led the way into his office. Paula was extremely grateful to get away from the psychotic secretary who thought that Gibbs and Tony were going to have sex. And quite frankly, Paula wasn't very happy with how freely she talked about Tony's nudity.

She sat down in front of Morrow's desk while he sat in the big leather seat behind it. He smiled warmly at her, putting her somewhat at ease. Hopefully, he wouldn't ream her out too bad for her mistake.

"Agent Cassidy, I've already read Agent Gibbs' team's report. I don't believe that what happened was in any way your fault."

That was confusing. And not what she was expecting. "So, does that mean I'm free to go back to Gitmo?"

"Perhaps Guantanamo Bay isn't the best station for you. I understand that you took this situation very hard. I wouldn't be opposed if you wanted a transfer somewhere else."

That wasn't a bad idea. Paula had been rolling around the idea of being Agent Afloat. She wouldn't have to worry about a coworker betraying her if she was the only cop on board.

But still. "At the moment sir, I'd like to go back to Gitmo." She needed to redeem herself in her eyes.

Morrow nodded, completely understanding. Then he leaned back in his seat. "Well, while you're here, how would you like a stake in the office pool?"

Paula slammed her head on his desk.

* * *

**Talk to me!**

**Bob**


	6. FBI Special Agent Tobias Fornell

**Who's Bet: **FBI Special Agent Tobias Fornell

**Summary:** NCIS stole his crime scene. How will Fornell get payback?

**Spoilers: **Season 1, Episode 1, "Yankee White"

**Author's Note: **First of all, let me say that I am so so so so sorry that it took so long to get this chapter up (and please nobody remind me that it's a sign of weakness to apologize, sometimes apologies are called for) I wish I had a good excuse, but in all honesty, this chapter just did not want to agree with me. I'm not sure how it turned out, so again, sorry. I really wish I could have given you guys a fantastic amazing chapter to make up for the long hiatus. Hopefully next chapter I'll be able to get done sooner, and it'll be better.

* * *

Tobias was still pissed. He was pissed that he got scammed. Twice. By the same son of a bitch. First he let NCIS on Air Force One without once looking at their credentials to make sure they were who they said they were. M.E. assistants. What Medical Examiner—a local one no less—needed two assistants at a crime scene? He should have known better.

But then, he actually let them run off with the body! The body of all things. And throwing that punk kid onto the beltway was only partially satisfying. It would have been better if he discovered the switch himself. No, the damn kid answered his phone—while in the body bag—and had a pleasant conversation with that bastard boss of his. That was just another failure on Tobias' fault, which made tossing him less fun.

It just got worse after that. He had to cede jurisdiction to NCIS, because they got the body. So now he and his partner, Frank, were on their way to NCIS headquarters to find out what they already found out. Even though Tobias was on the scene first. Damn thieves and conmen.

"Agent Todd had to help them," Frank said, just as annoyed as Tobias. "There's no other way that they'd get the body off the plane."

"Her boss ordered her to deliver the body, and as far as she knew, she was."

"Yeah right." Frank rolled his eyes. "That old guy probably screwed her brains out. After that she would have agreed to anything."

Tobias actually laughed out loud at that. "How bad is your eyesight getting?" He laughed even louder when he saw Frank's confused look.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That old guy isn't into Agent Todd. He likes 'em a bit… scummier." There really wasn't any other way to describe it, at least not for Tobias.

"Huh?"

Tobias rolled his eyes. For a second he couldn't remember why Frank was an FBI agent. Maybe he should transfer to NCIS. "The man's gay, Frank!"

Frank scoffed. "No way."

"And he's got a thing for that agent of his. The one we tossed on the beltway." And boy did he look scummy. Tobias thought the _boy_—because really, he couldn't have been that old—would be better suited at a frat party than a crime scene. His hair had too much gel in it. Like he used an entire bottle of sticky crap just to make his hair look messy. Tobias didn't really understand young people and their ways.

"You think those two are…" Frank took his hand off the wheel to flick his wrist.

Tobias chuckled. "If they aren't already, they will be soon."

Frank shook his head. "I was watching the kid. He had his eyes glued to Agent Todd's ass."

"If I told you to climb into a body bag so I could steal a body off a plane, what would you do?"

"I'd tell you to piss off."

"Exactly! But this kid just goes voluntarily? Gets tossed out of a car and still follows the guy! Nobody has that kind of blind loyalty." Especially when it was so completely undeserved.

"I still don't believe that the two of them are bumping uglies."

Tobias tilted his head in agreement. "Maybe not now, but I guarantee you, they will."

They pulled up to the gate at the Navy Yard. They had a meeting with those NCIS bastards to find out what they found out about the dead Commander. Frank turned away from the wheel as the guard checked his I.D. and gave him a speculative look. "Why you so hell bent on that old guy being gay, Tobias? Are you trying to come out to me?"

Tobias barked out a laugh. "Even if I was gay, I'm not that desperate, Frank." His smile turned devious. "But you gotta admit, if they do end up screwing someday, that'll be great payback."

The guards handed back their badges and identification cards. They started driving closer to the Agency. Frank quirked an eyebrow at him. "How do you figure?"

Tobias shrugged. "Just that fraternizing between a team leader and his subordinate is against the rules. If Director Morrow happened to discover that the old geezer was giving it to that annoying scummy kid, then he'd have no choice but to fire 'em."

Frank rolled his eyes. "Director Morrow agreed with that old geezer to steal a body right out of our hands. And the freaking plane!" He huffed. "Somehow I doubt he'd fire those two just because he found out they were sleeping together."

The older agent rolled his eyes. "Alright, fine, maybe not _fire _them, but he'd at least have to transfer one, or both of them." His smile brightened as he leaned back in his seat. "What I wouldn't give to see the look on their faces when Morrow tells them the great news."

Frank smirked as he stopped the car. "I still don't see it."

Together they climbed out of the vehicle and started heading for the building. "And that is precisely why I'm senior agent on this team."

They walked in the building and flashed the security guard their badges. They quickly got their visitor's passes and headed for the elevator at the other end of the lobby.

It wasn't until they were inside the small metallic box that one of them broke the silence. "How much do you wanna bet?" Frank asked.

Tobias chuckled. "What am I betting on? Whether they're sleeping together or whether they're going to?"

"Whether they are. How much do you wanna bet?"

"Hundred bucks."

The elevator dinged just before it opened.

The two walked out, Tobias in front. He could still hear the smile in Frank's voice. "You're that confident?" He called after him.

Tobias just smiled. "Frank, if you can't see it maybe you should consider transferring to NCIS." At that moment he bumped into somebody. He started to mutter an apology when he saw who it was. A young woman, probably around thirty years old. She was wearing a lab coat, which meant she actually _worked _here. What was so shocking about that? Well, she certainly didn't look like a person who belonged at a federal agency.

Her hair was black, like she dyed it in printer ink. Her lipstick was black. Tobias spotted at least one tattoo on the back of her neck—a spiderweb, no less. And to top it off, she was wearing a dog collar.

What the hell kind of people did NCIS employ?

"You must be Agent Fornell," the woman said with a bright smile. Tobias was actually expecting her to pull out a knife and stab him to death.

He was hesitant to answer, but eventually he drawled out a simple, "yes."

Her smile brightened. "I'm Abby Scuito. I'm the forensic scientist here."

Also unexpected.

"Really?" He couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice.

Her smile turned into a smirk. "Yes," she drawled out, mocking his earlier response. "Is that a surprise, Agent Fornell?"

He shook his head. "No." It was a complete lie, but he was hoping she wouldn't catch it.

"Uh huh." She started walking. Tobias noticed she was going in the same direction that he was, so he followed.

"So, um, what are you doing up here, instead of down in the lab?" Or lair. Whichever she preferred to call it.

"I'm presenting my findings to you, Secret Service and Gibbs."

"Who?" He never bothered to get any of their names.

"The lead agent? Assigned to the case? He stole your body?"

"Oh." The old bastard.

"So what were you two talking about when you came in?" She asked as they neared a wide open floor. Four desks sat in every corner. At the moment, only two were covered in clutter. The other two were completely empty. The scummy punk must sit at the desk with the… Mighty Mouse stapler on it.

What kind of grown man had a Mighty Mouse stapler?

Tobias smiled. This could be fun. "We were just discussing the likelihood that Agent Gibbs is engaging in a sexual affair with his agent."

He expected her to look a little shocked, possibly disgusted. Hell, he'd take betrayed. But he certainly didn't expect her to burst out laughing. "You're a little late to the party, fellas."

Tobias stared back blankly. "Are you saying that you know those two are sleeping together?" If that was the case, Frank owed him a hundred bucks and he owed Director Morrow a little chat.

She groaned. "Unfortunately not yet. But we are waiting with bated breaths. Just about everybody has a bet about when its gonna happen." She looked behind Tobias' shoulder. He turned around to see the two agents in question walking towards them. They were accompanied by their medical examiner. As far as Tobias was concerned, he was just as much of a bastard as the other two. "You know, if you two want in on the office pool, you should talk to Director Morrow when this is over. He handles everybody's bets."

Tobias swiveled around to stare at the woman again. He couldn't for the life of him believe that the Director of a federal agency would condone this kind of behavior.

The three men strode into the bullpen. Gibbs and his scummy punk agent sat in their appropriate desks, completely ignoring that they had company.

Frank strode up next to him, but Tobias was staring at everybody in the room. He still couldn't wrap his mind around this. This was insanity. And broke all the rules in the book. And nobody had an issue with this?

"I believe you owe me a hundred bucks," Frank whispered in his ear, smugness in his voice.

Tobias groaned. Tomorrow, he was asking for a new partner.

* * *

**Next bet: Director Jenny Sheppard**


	7. NCIS Director Jenny Shepherd

**Who's Bet: **NCIS Director Jenny Shepherd

**Summary:** It's her first day on the job, and Morrow's laying down a full rules.

**Episode: **Season 3, Episode 1: Kill Ari part one (Very slight spoilers for Twilight as well)

**Author's Note:** Well, I was hoping to get this chapter out a lot sooner, and I'm sorry for that. I thought I was doing better. Apparently not. A lot of things happened, and this got put on the back burner. Also, I'd like to make a comment about the last bet, Fornell's. According to later canon, Gibbs and Fornell were married to the same woman and Fornell had a daughter with her. However, according to the first episode, "Yankee White" they were complete strangers (if they weren't, Gibbs never would have been able to pull that stunt on Air Force One). The last bet was based solely around that episode, and according to Yankee White, they were strangers. Just wanted to clear that up for everybody.

* * *

She checked her hair for what felt like the millionth time.

Still perfect. Ok, what about the suit?

Still pressed.

Jenny groaned. She was freaking out over nothing! She was an Assistant Director of NCIS. No, wait, she wasn't an Assistant Director anymore. She was the Director. Today was her first day as Director. It was the promotion of a lifetime. Especially for a woman her age—because she was not that old, contrary to what that bastard down in human resources thought. And she was not going to mess it up.

She got lost three times trying to find her way to MTAC.

Not a good start, but she eventually found it. She scanned her iris and walked into the darkened room. It sort of reminded her of a movie theater. Except if she brought popcorn in here, she'd probably get fired and thrown on her ass out on the street.

How was her hair?

Her eyes scanned around the room, trying to find Director—no, no, _former_ Director—Morrow. She must have scanned the room four times. He was here, wasn't he? He hadn't stood her up? Shouldn't he have called…

Now she was sounding like a teenage girl on her first date. This was ridiculous!

Did she make sure to check her make-up?

"Director Shepherd." Jenny nearly jumped out of her skin. Morrow stood before her, smiling a knowing smile that sent a blush to her face. She was incredibly grateful that the room was dark and he couldn't see it.

"Director Morrow," she said as she took a deep breath. "It's good to see you again."

He nodded. "You too." He waved her towards the row of seats he just left. "Please, have a seat."

Her chair was relatively soft, but hard enough to remind her—again—that she was not in a movie theater. They planned attacks in this room, not watch two people fall madly in love at first sight.

"So," she took a deep breath to try and still her nerves, "was there anything else we needed to discuss before I take over, Director?"

Morrow smiled. "I'm no longer the Director at NCIS, _Director_. But yes, there is something that we need to discuss." He handed her a small leather covered notepad. It was embroidered with gold calligraphy. She had expected to see "Tom Morrow" or "Director" or something else equally personal. So imagine her surprise when she saw the words "Office Pool" written in the lower right hand corner.

She turned her confused eyes to the man next to her. "What is this?"

"Almost four years ago, we started an office pool that has spread through the entire Navy Yard. As Director, it's your job to keep track of everyone's bets and hand out the prize when somebody eventually wins."

"Four years is a long time for one Office Pool."

Morrow scoffed. "Believe me, I know."

She shook her head, still a bit confused. "Is it proper for the Director to be involved in something like this?"

"Normally I would say absolutely not, but this was just too damn funny for me not to involve myself in it."

Jenny skimmed through the book. It was filled with people's names and random dates. "What exactly is the pool? When Dr. Mallard finally loses his voice?" She was all too familiar with Ducky's ability to talk. He was a good man, and she absolutely adored him, but sometimes he made her ears hurt with all the talking he could do.

Morrow chuckled. "There is a pool for that, but it isn't as big as this one."

"Who's Agent Fornell?" She looked back up at her predecessor. "I don't recall meeting him."

"He works for the FBI." He chuckled again at her shocked expression. "I told you this was big."

She slammed the book into her lap and glared at him. "What exactly is the pool, if I'm allowed to know?"

Morrow sighed heavily. "The bet is when two agents will sleep together."

She rolled her eyes. "Honestly."

He looked her square in the eye and repeated himself. There was no lie in his gaze.

It took her nearly a full minute to understand what he was telling her. "Why would that be a pool?" She shook her head. "Why are you involved with this? Shouldn't you be trying to shut it down?"

"Normally yes."

"So what makes these two so special that they can ignore the rules?"

Morrow shrugged. "True love?"

Jenny glared again. "Are they partners?"

"Almost," Morrow said with a glint in his eye and a smirk on his lips.

"I meant at work!"

Morrow sighed again. "Yes, technically, the two are partners."

"What do you mean, 'technically'?"

"I mean, they aren't the only ones on the team. It's a group of, well," he paused, "three, at the moment." He looked in her eyes again, only this time there was a hint of sadness. "They lost one of their own this morning."

Jenny sighed heavily. A part of her felt bad for that, but she didn't even know this person, so she couldn't feel the same grief that Morrow obviously felt. "If everyone is so convinced that they're sleeping together—"

"They're not sleeping together. At least not yet."

She closed her eyes and shook her head. Morrow was exasperating. "Regardless, if everyone is convinced they _will_, then they shouldn't be working so closely together. It's against the rules of every federal agency for a reason. It's dangerous!"

"Again, normally I would agree with you, Director," she ignored the way her heart flipped at her new title, "but those two agents are without a doubt the best I've got. And I'm not saying that they'll start a romantic relationship when they finally have sex. All I know is that they will eventually have sex, so why not make a little money out of it?"

"You can't know that they'll—"

He cut her off. "Give it a few weeks. You'll see it too."

She rolled her eyes again. "Well, if it's so obvious, why don't you transfer one of them to a different team?"

"I don't want to be killed."

She blinked.

"Director, there's approximately one thousand people who are in on this pool. At this moment. The longer it goes, the more people join in. Several have made multiple bets already. There is over twenty-thousand dollars riding on this bet. If I transfer one of them off the team, I am successfully destroying the pool and everybody around here loses out on a twenty-thousand dollar payout. They will mutiny against you. Make no mistake about that."

"You really think they would murder you over twenty-thousand dollars?"

"We're a federal agency, Director. Our paychecks are not great enough to ignore a possible twenty-thousand dollar payout."

She huffed. Her first day as Director and she had this thrown in her lap. Since when has NCIS become a high school? Suddenly everybody wants to bet on when the cheerleader hooks up with the quarterback?

"Am I allowed to know who the two agents are?"

"On two conditions."

"Surely you can't be serious!" She almost laughed at how seriously Morrow was taking this. To Jenny, it was just plain weird. She still couldn't believe that he would go along with this.

"I am serious." He smirked. "And don't call me Shirley."

She bit her lip and tried a few deep breathing exercises to stop herself from pulling out her sidearm and shooting the man next to her. "And if I refuse these conditions?"

"I find another Assistant Director to take my place."

She glared, hoping that laser beams would shoot out of her eyes and slice his skin off. "What are they?"

"The two agents are not to know that there is an office pool about them. And you can't transfer either of them off the team."

"Director Morrow—"

He cut her off again. "Those are the only conditions. Take it or leave it, _Director_."

She leaned back so she could get a better look at him. "Why are you protecting these two?"

"Because I have a stake in the pool. And because I like them. What's your decision, Jenny?"

She glared again. That was the first time in their entire conversation that he called her by her given name. It was a challenge, and she knew it. If she didn't agree to his conditions, he really would find somebody else. And that just wasn't fair. She worked her ass off for years to get to this point. A woman as the Director of a federal agency was practically unheard of. And she made it. She did not want to throw it away because of something stupid like an office pool.

But at the same time, could she really, in good conscience, ignore the rules for money? Could she really give up her dream for her damn conscience?

After another minute, she sighed heavily and slouched down in her seat. "Fine, agreed." She couldn't believe that she was going along with this. "Who are the agents?"

Morrow smiled again. "Special Agents Leroy Jethro Gibbs and Anthony DiNozzo."

"What?" She nearly shouted that simple little word.

"We're going live, Director!" One of the MTAC control officers called out.

Morrow stood up and straightened his jacket. "Your show's about to start, Director." Without another word, he moved to sit further in the back of the small theater.

Jenny could barely pay attention to all the people filling into the tiny room. She still hadn't picked up her jaw yet.

She remembered Jethro. Hell, she had slept with Jethro numerous times while they were undercover together in Europe (And no, she was not a hypocrite, she was young and dumb and he was… _Jethro_). Was she really expected to believe that Jethro, _her_ Jethro suddenly turned gay after Europe? That he was sleeping with—or about to sleep with—a male teammate?

Somebody sat down next to her, causing her to jump. She almost expected to see the Cheshire Cat smiling at her. Because the only explanation she could come up with for all of this was that she fell down the rabbit's hole and ended up in Wonderland. The world of nonsense.

Morrow was definitely the Mad Hatter.

* * *

**Yes, in case you're wondering, I had watched Alice in Wonderland right before I wrote this. Sorry, but I had to. I hadn't done Alice in Wonderland before! Moving on...**

**Next Bet: Ziva David**


	8. Liaison Officer Ziva David

**Who's Bet:** Liaison Officer Ziva David

**Summary:** Ziva wants to seduce Tony, but a conversation with McGee makes her realize it might be harder than she thought.

**Episode: **Season 3 episode Silver War

**Author's Note:** So, I fail. I don't know why this took me so long to get up. But on a bright note, there are only 13 more bets before we get to the winner! Unless of course you are completely sick of the same storyline being told over and over again. Either option is possible.

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Ziva sat at her new desk, the one that used to belong to Agent Kate Todd. She was happy to start work, in a new country. It was an exciting time. And she couldn't deny she was definitely looking forward to working with Agent DiNozzo. She couldn't' wait to whip him down a peg or two. He was cocky, thought he was the greatest thing on Earth. She could have laughed at that. He wasn't trained in Mossad.

Although, he was definitely attractive. Better than attractive actually. The man was sexy, and he knew it. But it didn't mean that Ziva was going to fall at his feet. So what if she planned to seduce him at least once before the liaison position was cancelled? So what if she already imagined what he would look like naked since she met him, or fantasized of him using that gravelly voice when they were in bed together. So what that she couldn't stop dreaming of him showing up in Tel Aviv to rob her breath away in the bed of night? It didn't mean that he had to know about that!

Agent McGee stepped up to her desk. She saw him approach under her eyelashes with a smirk on her face. Did he really expect her to not notice him? She was Mossad! She was trained by the best, and she would not be shown up by an American computer geek.

"Can I help you, Agent McGee?" She finally looked up at him, expecting shock, or surprise that she caught him. But he was grinning at her. Like the cat that ate the parrot, or something.

"You're officially a part of NCIS now."

Ziva wasn't sure where this was going. "Yes."

McGee knelt down next to her. Her hand instinctively wrapped around the handle on her knife. "I wanted to know if you wanted in on the office pool."

Ziva was confused again. Why was he smiling like this? Why was he talking quietly? "NCIS has an office pool?" She didn't bring her swimsuit. She glared. "Are you trying to seduce me to skinny dip with you?" That might have worked with Agent DiNozzo, but not with McGee. He wasn't nearly as cute.

"Skinny dip? What?" The grin was finally gone, but Ziva hated how confused he looked. Was it really that disgusting to consider sleeping with her? She was a beautiful woman!

"You were trying to convince me to go swimming with you!"

"No I wasn't, I asked if you wanted in on the office pool!"

She scoffed. "Oh, so you want me to help you pay for a new pool, is that it?"

"There's no new pool, it's only the old pool!"

Ziva couldn't take anymore. She grabbed his throat and squeezed lightly. "Please start making sense or I will pluck your eyeballs out of your head!"

"It's a bet! A wager!"

Oh.

Ziva searched his face. He was definitely telling the truth. "Oh." She released him. "Well why didn't you just say that, McGee?"

He rubbed his throat, the smile completely gone. Now he looked annoyed. "I did." He mumbled something under his breath. If Ziva was anybody else, or trained by anybody else, she probably wouldn't have caught it. "The first person I get in on the pool, and I almost get killed."

For a moment, Ziva felt bad. She hadn't meant to hurt her new coworker this soon after starting to work with him, it just happened. Really.

She leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs. "What is the bet, and how much to get it?" She figured she would be nice, if this meant so much to him.

"Forget it." He made to stand up, but Ziva stopped him.

"Please, McGee, I would like to know about the… office pool." Maybe that would make him feel better.

After a few moments of giving him a puppy dog look, he melted at her feet. She wanted to smile, but she figured that would be in bad taste.

He knelt down next to her. "So, it's twenty bucks to get in."

She shook her head. "That does not sound like much."

"There's currently about twenty thousand dollars at stake right now."

That was different. That was definitely a lot of money. "What is the bet?"

McGee's smile turned… feral, almost. "When are Tony and Gibbs going to sleep together?"

At first, Ziva thought that her new teammate misspoke. He could not have possibly meant what he said. Gibbs and Tony were not gay. Tony was too flirty for that. Her next thought was that he was playing a cruel joke on the newbie.

She jumped to her feet and crowded his personal space. McGee backed up a few paces, his face wild with fear. Ziva loved getting people to look like that. "Are you trying to play some game with me, Agent McGee? Because if you are, I doubt that I will need a weapon to kill you!" She hissed.

"I-I'm not. Th-that's really the pool." She glared at him. "Sorry, bet," he corrected quickly.

She scoffed. "You really expect me to believe that Gibbs and Tony are going to have sex with each other? Tell me something, Agent McGee, do I like stupid to you?"

"No!"

"Or do you think Mossad only trained me to be a killer and never think?"

"Ziva, it's a real bet! Everybody in the agency is in on it!"

"Really?" Somehow she seriously doubted that.

"Yes! This has been going on for years! Kate told me about it when I first joined the team." For a moment, her new coworker looked down, sadness filling his face. It was clear to Ziva that he still greatly missed his old partner. Something that she resented a bit. She wondered if he would ever care for her as much. Did she even want him to?

"So, if I go upstairs to talk about this with Director Sheppard, she will be in on this as well?" She said, successfully pulling him out of his thoughts about his fallen partner.

He shrugged. "Probably."

She glared one more time. This was a problem easily solved.

Without a word, she went up the stairs and barged into Jenny's office. McGee followed her the entire time, trying to get her to stop, but she would not. There was something wishy going on, and she was going to get to the bottom of it. She was an investigator now. And she was investigating.

Cynthia, Jenny's secretary tried to stop her, but Ziva ignored her as well. When she pushed open the door to Jenny's office, the older woman was a bit surprised to see her.

"Ziva. This is a surprise, for a moment, I thought you were Agent Gibbs." She leaned back in her chair. "What can I do for you?"

"Ziva—" McGee tried to stop her, but she cut him off.

"Is there really a bet about when Agents Gibbs and DiNozzo are going to sleep together?"

Jenny looked at her shocked for a moment, then her expression turned to one of defeat. With a heavy sigh, she leaned forward again and grabbed something out of the top drawer of her desk.

"What week would you like?"

Ziva was even more stunned. Behind her, McGee did not look much better.

"Are you telling me that this wager is real? NCIS is actually actively trying to determine when two agents—a boss and his subordinate—will bed together?"

Jenny tilted her head in confusion. "Do you mean, wind up in bed together?"

"This is real?" Ziva shouted, ignoring the correction to her failed English. All of these obnoxious American ways to say the exact same thing, it was ridiculous! And then they had the nerve to correct her every single time!

"Yes," Jenny answered. Although her tone suggested that she did not really like it. "What week would you like?" She turned to McGee for a moment. "Did you explain the rules to her?"

Ziva shook her head, still confused. "There are rules for a wager?"

Jenny glared at the man in the room. He seemed to break in his boots. That was the right phrase, yes? It sounded correct, at least.

"She didn't give me the chance! She just came barging up here!"

Jenny sighed heavily again and turned back to Ziva. "The rules are simple. You can't pick a date that somebody else has already chosen, and you can't tell Gibbs or DiNozzo about the pool."

Ziva blinked. Then she blinked again. Then she dropped her head to see if she was still standing there. Was it possible that she really died that afternoon at the Civil War reenactment? Maybe this was what Olam-Ha-Ba looked like. If so, she would have greatly preferred a bit more warning.

"Officer David?" Jenny asked. "Is everything ok?"

McGee stepped forward. "Did you want to make a bet?"

Even with her head down, Ziva knew that Jenny was glaring at McGee. It made her smile.

How could it be possible that Tony DiNozzo was gay? He was attractive? She wanted to bed him, not sit back and make bets on when he would bed Gibbs. Not that she didn't like Gibbs, she did. She was willing to kill her own brother to protect him. He trusted her.

But it did not mean she wanted to have his messy seconds!

She finally looked up with a smug grin on her face, successfully destroying the silent argument between the new director and her new teammate. She dropped a twenty dollar bill on Jenny's desk and made for the door.

"Um, Ziva!" Jenny called after her. "Is there a specific date you wanted?"

"Never." Then she left the office.

Because she knew that if she seduced Tony before Gibbs, there would be no way that he would start ratting for the other side. Wait, that one didn't sound right.

Ziva shook her head. Americans.

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**Few things, one, I know nothing about the Jewish faith, and the Olam-Ha-Ba line, I got off the internet, so I don't know how accurate it is. I'm sorry, but I barely know anything about my own religion. Secondly, there were a few Ziva-isms, but I couldn't resist. So let's see if I can make a list in case of confusion:**

_ She couldn't' wait to whip him down a peg or two - should be 'knock' him down_

_dreaming of him showing up in Tel Aviv to rob her breath away in the bed of night? - should be 'steal' her breath away and 'dead' of night_

_ Like the cat that ate the parrot - should be 'canary'_

_He seemed to break in his boots. - should be 'shake'_

_ there would be no way that he would start ratting for the other side - should be 'batting' for the other side._

**Next Bet: FBI Agent Ron Sacks**


End file.
